If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the self-help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn’t mean the circus has left town.
In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
Just several examples of the outrageously gifted and highly influential comedian George Carlin (1937 – 2008). Happy to tackle any topic within his lifetime, the cynical New Yorker is frequently voted among the best stand ups.