Gr8at: Edinburgh Fringe Jokes

It was the Edinburgh Fringe recently, so in tribute here are a combination of eight one-liners from the competition just gone and the previous nine years. Have you ever been? Do you have a favourite?

“A thesaurus is great. There’s no other word for it.”
Ross Smith (2019)

“I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again.”
Tim Vine (2010)

“My dad suggested I register for a donor card, he’s a man after my own heart.”
Masai Graham (2016)

“I’m not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change.”
Ken Cheng (2017)

“I’ve decided to sell my hoover – well, it was just collecting dust.”
Tim Vine (2014)

“I’ve got an Eton-themed advent calendar, where all the doors are opened for me by my dad’s contacts.”
Ivo Graham (2019)

“Working at the Jobcentre has to be a tense job, knowing that if you get fired you still have to come in the next day.”
Adam Rowe (2018)

“Someone stole my antidepressants. Whoever they are, I hope they’re happy.” 
Richard Stott (2019)

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Line(s) of the Day #TheKingofQueens

king of queens food

Deacon Palmer: Just because a restaurant is open 24 hours a day, doesn’t mean you have to eat there 24 hours a day.
Doug Heffernan: That is exactly what it means.

Kevin James and Victor Williams in the New York-set sitcom The King of Queens (1999 – 2007) that focuses on a food and sports-loving delivery driver, who has an easy life until his father-in-law moves in.

Gr8at: Christian Dior: Designer of Dreams Exhibition

I don’t normally reference fashion (save perhaps for Fashion and Art at The Chocolate Show and Film Quizzes: Stylish and Iconic Female Outfits) but I had to share these photos from The Christian Dior Exhibition at the V&A. Are you a big fan of Dior? Have you been to the V&A? They do great exhibitions, including the Pink Floyd one last year.

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Line(s) of the Day #ITonya

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(skating judge) Bob Rawlinson: I’ll deny I ever said it honey, but you’re just not the image we want to portray. You’re representing our country for fuck’s sake. We need to see a wholesome American family. You just refuse to play along.
Tonya Harding: I don’t have a wholesome American family.

Dan Triandiflou and Margot Robbie in I, Tonya (2017), which tells of the difficult background of American Olympic figure skater Tonya Harding and the circumstances regarding the attack on rival Nancy Kerrigan.

Line(s) of the Day #CreedII

Creed 2

Buddy Marcelle: I want the same thing you want.
Adonis Creed: And what’s that?
Buddy Marcelle: In the history of boxing there have been 77 heavyweight champions. You know that? And how many do you think they know? Four? Five? The belt ain’t enough. You need a narrative. Something that sticks to the ribs. Your dad, he knew that.

Russell Hornsby and Adonis Creed Michael B. Jordan in Creed 2 (2018), the eighth film in the Rocky franchise that began in 1976. In a story that has a powerful connection to previous films in the franchise, Apollo Creed’s son must face off in the ring against Ivan Drago’s son.

Line(s) of the Day #12AngryMen

12 Angry Men

Juror #8: Let me ask you this: Do you really think the boy’d shout out a thing like that so the whole neighbourhood could hear him? I don’t think so – he’s much too bright for that.
Juror #10: Bright? He’s a common ignorant slob. He don’t even speak good English.
Juror #11: He *doesn’t* speak good English.

Henry Fonda, Ed Begley and George Voskovec in the superlative courtroom drama 12 Angry Men (1957). A truly astonishing film that has continued to inspire and provoke debate about the justice system and those chosen to help carry a verdict. I’ve included the film in my blog numerous times. As well as the recent Scorching Hot Weather Film Quiz, it’s also been in my Favourite Films and B/W Adaptions from Plays quizzes, as well as being on a guest film post.