Gr8at: #TwoSentenceHorror

I saw an article on Two Sentence Horror Stories that shows how a skilled writer can tell a story even in a few words. These are my favourites, but you can find more here nd plenty more under #TwoSentenceHorror Which one chills you most?

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I can see one year into the future.
Today the noise stopped.

While tidying my laboratory, I came across an unfamiliar notebook and opened the first page. 
“Warning: The subject still thinks he is the scientist.”

“I’ve always wondered, what’s the scythe for anyway?” I asked, as Death escorted me.”
“Protection,” he answered nervously.  

I told the genie that for my third and final wish, I wanted my family to be happy.
And I started fading. 

The driver wasn’t very chatty, so I checked my phone. 
“Hey it’s your Uber. I’m outside.” 

During dinner, she told me she knew my deep dark secret.
As she chewed her burger, I knew she was bluffing. 

I decided to kill off a few characters in the book I’m writing.
It would definitely spice up my autobiography a little. 

As I woke up in the middle of the night, I heard Alexa speak.
“OK, the security alarms have been disabled.”

Gr8at: #FunnyJokes

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I went to a faith healing group. It was rubbish! Even the bloke in a wheelchair got up and walked out.

My dad always used to say “The first rule of theatre is to always leave them wanting more.” Great bloke but a terrible anaesthetist.

Bono and the Edge walk into a bar. The barman says “Oh no, not U2 again!”

Last time I went to Blackpool I went on a donkey. It took me six days to get there!

Has anyone seen my Gone in 60 Seconds Blu-ray? It was here a minute ago.

The Disappointment Club is delighted to announce the cancellation of its annual dinner.

I joined a Thesaurus Club last night and they said that the first rule of Thesaurus Club is, you don’t talk about, mention, speak of, discuss, gossip about, chat about, colloquy, parley or deliberate on Thesaurus Club.

A thief has stolen all the motorway signs from Yorkshire. Police are currently looking for Leeds.

G8at: James Bond Commemorative Stamps

It’s only a few months before the latest James Bond film No Time to Die is released so it’s exciting times for 007. As part of the promotion, I saw on the BBC website that the Royal Mail were releasing stamps to celebrate the 25th film in the franchise. As I’ve done numerous Bond-themed posts including on his cars and the best songs I just had tovshare these with you. Would you buy any?

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Gr8at: International Landscape Photographer of the Year

Photography and travel are two big passisons of mine, so when I saw the BBC had highlighted entrants from The International Landcape Photographer of the year I just had to share my favourites with you. You can find the rest of the winners on the official competition website here, which were whittled down from 3,403 entries.

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PETER ADAM HOSZANG – Sharqiya Sands Desert, Oman

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BRANDON YOSHIZAWA – SpaceX rocket exhaust plume, Sierra Nevada, California, US

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IGNACIO PALACIOS – Lencois Maranhenses, Brazil

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CRAIG BILL – Page, Arizona, US

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ANKE BUTAWITSCH – Madeira, Portugal

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RICARDO DA CUNHA – West Mongolia

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PATRICK HERTZOG – Vatnajokull National Park, Iceland

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VESELIN ATANASOV – Central Balkan, Bulgaria

Gr8at: Quotes on Acting

As most of you’ll know, it’s the Oscar’s tonight. Here’s hoping it’s a memorable one. So as a warm up to the big event, here are some quotes on the whole acting process. You’ll find more at the Ace your Audition site.

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Acting is behaving truthfully under imaginary circumstances.
– Sanford Meisner

Without wonder and insight, acting is just a business. With it, it becomes creation.
– Bette Davis

The more personal, the more universal.
– Gary Ballinger

Every scene you will ever act begins in the middle, and it is up to you, the actor, to provide what comes before.
– Michael Shurtleff

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
– George Burns

I love acting. It is so much more real than life.
– Oscar Wilde

The work will stand, no matter what.
– Meryl Streep

Stop explaining yourself. Shut up and act!
– Craig MacDonald

Gr8at: Winning Photographs from International Wildlife Photography Awards

As any regular readers will know, I’m a huge photography fan, both in taking my own and appreciating the high levels of others. So when I saw The Guardian had published a piece about the best photographs of 2019, I just had to share my favourite ones with you. Which ones stand out most to you?

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Bond of Brothers by David Lloyd in Lumix People’s Choice

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Greater Sage-Grouse by Elizabeth Boehm – 2019 Audubon Photography Awards

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Flamingo Socks by Jasper Doest – 2019 World Press Photo Contest

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Jump by Csaba Daróczi – Nature Photographer of the Year 2019

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Golden rain by Norbert Kaszás – Nature Photographer of the Year 2019

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Survival Instinct by Bence Máté – 2019 World Press Photo Contest

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Falcons and the Arab Influence by Brent Stirton – 2019 World Press Photo Contest

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Caretta caretta turtle by Eduardo Acevedo – Underwater Photographer of the Year 2019

Gr8at: Olafur Eliasson: In Real Life

These were taken at the Olafur Eliasson: In Real Life Exhibition at the Tate Modern. Running until 5 January 2020, there are over 40 works by the Danish-Icelandic artist whose vast creativity stretches to including moss, glacial-melt water and fog in his artwork. I definitely recommend going if you’re anywhere near London.

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