Boycie: (Through gritted teeth) “Well done, Del. Nicely played. Where did you get those bloody Aces from?” Del: “Same place you got them Kings. I knew you was cheating, Boycie.” Boycie: “Oh yeah? How?” Del: “‘Cos that wasn’t the hand that I dealt you.”
John Challis and David Jason in the much-loved British sitcom Only Fools and Horses (1981 – 2003, 2014). Set in East End Peckham, it tells of a poorly educated but hugely entrepreneurial market trader who dreams of getting rich. You can see other examples of the show’s humour here and here, with some memorable quotes on poker here.
Frasier: I was drawn to the theatre because of its discipline and collaborative spirit! Niles: Oh please, in your sixth grade production of “Oklahoma!” you took so many curtain calls, Mrs. Van Raphorst had to lasso you and pull you from the stage! Frasier: That woman never understood me or the role of Farmer Number Three!
Kelsey Grammer and David Hyde Pierce in the supreme Seattle-based sitcom Frasier (1993 – 2004). I have quoted the multi-award winning show numerous times on my blog, and yet there is always so much more to quote. Make sure to check out my Gr8at post on Frasier and Niles for more examples of their sublime humour.
When I went to the first time [the Edinburgh Festival Fringe] my pre-sales were one. I had one ticket sold. Which is quite depressing. Even more depressing when it was a buy one get one free deal. The one person couldn’t even find even find another person for free.
Michael McIntyre telling an anecdote on The Michael O’ Grady Show about his early lack of success. Now believed to be the highest-grossing comedian in the world, among other achievements the English comic has released 4 bestselling stand-up DVDs, hosted his own chatshow and presented the hugely popular Michael McIntyre’s Big Show.
This parrot is no more. It has ceased to be. It’s expired and gone to meet its maker. This is a late parrot. It’s a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If you hadn’t nailed it to the perch, it would be pushing up the daisies. It’s rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-parrot.
The very famous Monty Python quote from John Cleese (in the scene with Michael Palin) who was conned into buying a dead parrot. It was inspired by Palin’s experience with a car salesman “who had an excuse for everything”. You can find the memorable Argument Room sketch here and the oft-referenced Roman achievements here.
I’ve always been a huge fan of The Simpsons. At its peak it really was astonishingly witty, sharp and hilarious. I’ve done two posts in recent times, one on its visual jokes and one on its wit, but I thought it was about time I did one on funny scenes. Below are eight of my favourites. Do you recognise many of them? Which character did you like most?
I’ve heard she once used a cake on stage to make her cry. “That’s right,” she says. “It was a chocolate cake and it was put on the stool [in the wings] where I could see it.It wasn’t that I had to cry,” she corrects. “It was that I was supposed to be in love with the actor but I couldn’t feel anything for him. I didn’t even like him. I put the piece of cake in the wings so I could pine for the piece of cake.”
Taken from an interview with Barbra Streisand (1942 – ) with The Sunday Times’ journalist Chrissy Iley. Streisand is a legend of stage and screen, with an incredible set of achievements including two Oscars, 10 Grammy awards, five Emmys and a Tony award.