Line(s) of the Day #TheBigBangTheory

Penny: Howard, you’re going to throw away a great girl like Bernadette because you’re holding out for some ridiculous fantasy?
Howard: Hey, just because you settled doesn’t mean I have to.
Leonard: Excuse me, I’m sitting here.
Penny: Hey, I did not settle for Leonard. I mean, obviously, he isn’t the kind of guy I usually go out with, you know, physically.
Leonard: Again, I’m right here.
Penny: My point is, I do not judge a book by its cover. I am interested in the person underneath.
Leonard: I am here, right? You see me.

Kaley Cuoco, Simon Helberg and Johnny Galecki in the long-running and highly popular comedy The Big Bang Theory (2007 – 2019).

Gr8at: #FunnyJokes

laughing gif

I went to a faith healing group. It was rubbish! Even the bloke in a wheelchair got up and walked out.

My dad always used to say “The first rule of theatre is to always leave them wanting more.” Great bloke but a terrible anaesthetist.

Bono and the Edge walk into a bar. The barman says “Oh no, not U2 again!”

Last time I went to Blackpool I went on a donkey. It took me six days to get there!

Has anyone seen my Gone in 60 Seconds Blu-ray? It was here a minute ago.

The Disappointment Club is delighted to announce the cancellation of its annual dinner.

I joined a Thesaurus Club last night and they said that the first rule of Thesaurus Club is, you don’t talk about, mention, speak of, discuss, gossip about, chat about, colloquy, parley or deliberate on Thesaurus Club.

A thief has stolen all the motorway signs from Yorkshire. Police are currently looking for Leeds.

Line(s) of the Day #TheSimpsons

Homer simpson prohibition

At first, I thought prohibition was a good thing. People were drinking more and having a lot more fun. But without beer, prohibition doesn’t work.

Homer sharing his unique wisdom in Homer v the eighteenth ammmendment in The Simpsons (1989 – )