Rachel: (into phone) I’ll call you back (hangs up).
Joey: Who was that?
Rachel: Just the pizza place.
Joey: You hung up on the pizza place? I don’t hang up on your friends!
Jennifer Aniston and Matt le Blanc in the ever-popular Friends (1994 – 2004). Another hilarious example of Joey’s deep love of food. After all, Joey doesn’t share food!
You know, Rupert, guys have underestimated me my entire life. And for years, I never understood why. It used to really bother me. But then one day, I was driving my little boy to school and I saw this quote by Walt Whitman, and it was painted on the wall there. It said, “Be curious, not judgmental.” I like that.
So I get back in my car and I’m driving to work, and all of a sudden it hits me. All them fellas that used to belittle me, not a single one of them were curious. You know, they thought they had everything all figured out. So they judged everything, and they judged everyone. And I realized that their underestimating me… who I was had nothing to do with it. ‘Cause if they were curious, they would’ve asked questions.
Ted Lasso (Jason Sudeikis) in the brilliant show Ted Lasso (2020-), which tells of a quaintly charming US sports coach who comes to a west London football team after being hired for the most unlikely of reasons.
Marge Simpson: Gosh I thought he’d be happier in his own habitat.
Wildlife refuge guy: Oh I think he is
Marge Simpson: Then why is he attacking all those other elephants?
Willife refuge guy: Well, animals are a lot like people, Mrs. Simpson. Some of them act badly because they’ve had a hard life or have been mistreated. But, like people, some of them are just jerks. Stop that, Mr. Simpson.
I’ve quoted the show about a dozen times but it really has made me laugh so much. Still running despite starting in 1989, its a show that has provided so many great scenes, especially in its earliest years.
Saul Goodman is… He’s the last line of defense for the little guy. Are you getting sold down the river? He’s a life raft. You getting stepped on, he’s a sharp stick. You got Goliath on your back, Saul’s the guy with the slingshot. He’s a righter of wrongs. He’s friend to the friendless. That’s Saul Goodman.
Saul Goodman (Bob Odenkirk) in the Breaking Bad spin-off Better Call Saul (2015 – ), which tells of a con man’s transformation into a criminal law specialist.
Salesman: You know in the 80s, people had a different attitude towards money.
Mike Logan: I wouldn’t know. I didn’t have any.
Chirs Noth (also known as Mr Big of course) in the hugely popular Law and Order (1990 – 2010). I’ve written why I’m a fan of the show here. You’ll probably know the famous opening words too.
Mrs. Cooper: Now listen here, Sheldon. I’ve been telling you since you were four years old, it’s okay to be smarter than everybody, but you can’t go around pointing it out!
Sheldon Cooper: Why not?
Mrs. Cooper: Because people don’t like it!
Laurie Metcalf and Jim Parsons in the long-running science-themed sitcom The Big Bang Theory (2007 – 2019). I’ve mentioned Sheldon a few times before, including in his own specific post.
Governor Martin Mendez: Either you fire this cop or I will order the attorney general to drill down on every questionnable police shooting in the past 10 years.
Police Commissioner Frank Reagan: Which would be your right.
Governor Martin Mendez: And hold public hearings out loud and lights up.
Police Commissioner Frank Reagan: Everybody loves a circus.
Governor Marin Mendez: Except the guy that’s gotta shovel up afterwards.
Everyone will have their favourite character from The Good Place (2016-), a show set in the afterlife and more shocks and twists than you could ever begin to imagine. Mine is the rather dim-witted Jason Mendoza (Manny Jacinto), the failed DJ (or rather “pre-successful”) with an unflinching loyalty to the Jacksonville Jaguars.
Shaun: [to muffin] Hello, you. [Shaun bites into the muffin while it’s still in Darren’s hand]
Andy Millman: Why’s he eating like that?
Darren Lamb: Yeah, why are you eating it like that?
Shaun: Me hands, been cleaning out the toilets, got no gloves.
Andy Millman: You… you shook my hand when you came in.
Shaun: Well that’s politeness innit?
Shaun Richardson, Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant in the acclaimed Extras (2005 – 2007). Telling the story of a struggling actor, the British sitcom was the follow up show by Gervais and Merchant to the phenomenally influential The Office (2001 – 2003).
Sam Malone: Ya’ see, matching a Corvette with the right owner, Dennis, is kind of like finding a home for an animal…
Dennis: OK, but I’m kind of pressed for time. I gotta’ get to my hair stylist.
Sam Malone: Good.. good. (Checks him out) Oh, very good, very good… Just a few multiple choice questions… Number one, it’s high noon you’re driving in Harvard Square, parking is limited. Do you: A, park in a handicap zone, B, park in a regular spot under a tree, C drive around until a space opens up.
Dennis: C.
Sam Malone: (jumps up) What are you nuts??!! I can’t believe it man! It’s a trick question. You don’t drive this baby at high noon, man! Sun damage, bucko! What the hell is wrong with you?!! What do you want to do, oxidise the paint?!! Get outta’ here, you make me sick!
Proud but broke Corvette owner Sam Malone as played by Ted Danson (with Rob Moran) in the hugely popular and long-running Boston-themed sitcom Cheers (1982 – 1993). You can find other examples of Cheers here and here, more information about Sam’s famous on/off romance with Diane here and about his bachelor status here.
Alex Raphael 