I’ve been lucky enough to go to some wonderful restaurants recently, but jokes about bad ones have always made me laugh. Here are eight of my favourites.
Diner: Excuse me, will my burger be long?
Waiter: No sir, it will be round.
Diner: This steak is raw. I said well done!
Waiter: Why thank you, sir.
Diner: Please call the manager. I can’t eat this terrible food.
Waiter: It’s no use, sir. He won’t eat it either.
Diner: Hang on! What’s your thumb doing on my steak?
Waiter: I don’t want it to fall on the floor again, sir.
Diner: Waiter, what’s this fly doing in my soup?
Waiter: Um, looks to me to be backstroke, sir…
Diner: Waiter, there is a fly in the butter!
Waiter: Yes sir, it’s a butterfly!
Diner: Waiter! This coffee takes like mud.
Waiter: Well sir, it was only ground this morning.
Diner: This fish isn’t as good as what I ordered here last month.
Waiter: That’s funny. It’s from the same fish.
Alex Raphael 
Haha! I would love to get a waiter like that. Any one of those experiences are hard to forget.
Ever been to a place where the food was awful?
Yes! It was one of those fancy places where you can just spit the food out of your mouth. Food was awful, they even managed to ruin dessert. We ate, okay tried to eat, and headed out to a fast food place where you are guaranteed taste-bud-friendly food
And not even a funny waiter 😦
haahahah those are cute 😉
Which one made you laugh most?
This one:
Diner: Waiter, what’s this fly doing in my soup?
Waiter: Um, looks to me to be backstroke, sir…
hehe
Ha! A classic but a great one.
hehe
Well done!
Well quoted 🙂
Niiiicee! 🙂
🙂
That last one is pretty awesome!
That’s one of my favourites too. I don’t like seafood. Probably just as well with all the possible puns.
Good ones 🙂 And that says a lot because I normally only laugh at dirty jokes 😮
Good to know 🙂 There’s a time and place for most jokes.
😆 I have only heard butter-fly before 🙂 Great laughs, Alex!
Feel free to steal them all haha.
Nope, I make up my own.
We shall see next time you are at a restaurant ha
Great stuff, they remind me of Monty Python, I can just see these in one of their sketches.
I knew there was a reason we found each other haha. I’ve quoted them a few times, but is this the funniest sketch ever? I might pretend I wrote it 😉
https://alexraphael.wordpress.com/2014/04/09/lines-of-the-day-theargumentsketch/
Excellent. As soon as I saw the photo I knew which one it was, such a fabulously written sketch, definitely one of their best. Hmm, not sure you’d get away with pretending, it’s rather notorious, perhaps pick something more obscure. Or better still, write a Monty inspired one yourself!
Sensible advice. And now for something completely different… 😉
Hehe 😀
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These are great! Are they your own? Have you ever had the pleasure of waiting tables?
The jokes are a mix of mine and those I’ve heard at different points. I did silver service a long time ago. You sure get to be good at opening wine and champagne 🙂
Nice! Having a good sense of humor is great! 😀 one gets to be good at opening a bottle of wine and champagne either way! 😉 haha!
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