It was my birthday recently, which featured some wonderful memories, as well as some lovely cards and presents. Among them, was a book on one-liners by tonnes of the best comedians around. 450 in fact. (Thanks Sam and Laura. You rock) Below are the ones that made me laugh most.
People who cut corners don’t last long at the Muller yoghurt factory. Max Dickens
I love TV. I watch everything. I’ve watched so much on Netflix it’s started suggesting I go outside. David Morgan
I was so proud when my driving instructor described my parking as “unparalleled”. Tom Webb
Why did I marry a dominatrix? Beats me. Johny Murph
The Swiss must have been pretty confident of victory if they included a corkscrew in their army knife. Rhys James
My girlfriend’s got a bit of a complex about her height, so she went to see a shrink. Now she’s even smaller. Phil Zimmerman
My wife said to me, ‘Do you know how everyone in the world has a doppelgänger? I wonder what mine looks like’. Tony Jameson
Do you ever see someone who looks so annoying that you just want to punch them in the face. Because, the other day I got punched in the face. Ed Gamble
Alex Raphael 
Happy birthday and what a great gift!
Sent from my iPhone
It was a great night, thank you :)And yes, they are great 🙂
Happy Birthday!
Thanks Cindy. It was a great night. I’m lucky to have some really good friends.
happy b-day Alex! my fave is the Netflix one… obviously 🙂
I was watching Netflix earlier today ha. Do you ever use the % match to decide on what you will watch?
Happy Birthday once again Alex. You indeed have some lovely friends.
‘My therapist says I have a preoccupation with Vengeance. We’ll see about that..’
Totally ha. “They all laughed when I told them I’d be a comedian. Well they’re not laughing now”
I like the dominatrix one and the unparallel quote
Please let me know if you see your doppelgänger and if you remember what they look like 😉
Hahaha
I love the Swiss Army Knife one!
I’ll drink (wine) to that 🙂