Gr8at: #JokerFace #OneLiners

It was my birthday recently, which featured some wonderful memories, as well as some lovely cards and presents. Among them, was a book on one-liners by tonnes of the best comedians around.  450 in fact. (Thanks Sam and Laura. You rock) Below are the ones that made me laugh most.


People who cut corners don’t last long at the Muller yoghurt factory.    Max Dickens

I love TV. I watch everything. I’ve watched so much on Netflix it’s started suggesting I go outside.    David Morgan

I was so proud when my driving instructor described my parking as “unparalleled”.    Tom Webb

Why did I marry a dominatrix? Beats me.    Johny Murph

The Swiss must have been pretty confident of victory if they included a corkscrew in their army knife.    Rhys James

My girlfriend’s got a bit of a complex about her height, so she went to see a shrink. Now she’s even smaller.    Phil Zimmerman

My wife said to me, ‘Do you know how everyone in the world has a doppelgänger? I wonder what mine looks like’.    Tony Jameson

Do you ever see someone who looks so annoying that you just want to punch them in the face. Because, the other day I got punched in the face.    Ed Gamble


13 thoughts on “Gr8at: #JokerFace #OneLiners

  1. Happy Birthday once again Alex. You indeed have some lovely friends.

    ‘My therapist says I have a preoccupation with Vengeance. We’ll see about that..’

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