Gr8at: #JokerFace #OneLiners

It was my birthday recently, which featured some wonderful memories, as well as some lovely cards and presents. Among them, was a book on one-liners by tonnes of the best comedians around.  450 in fact. (Thanks Sam and Laura. You rock) Below are the ones that made me laugh most.

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People who cut corners don’t last long at the Muller yoghurt factory.    Max Dickens

I love TV. I watch everything. I’ve watched so much on Netflix it’s started suggesting I go outside.    David Morgan

I was so proud when my driving instructor described my parking as “unparalleled”.    Tom Webb

Why did I marry a dominatrix? Beats me.    Johny Murph

The Swiss must have been pretty confident of victory if they included a corkscrew in their army knife.    Rhys James

My girlfriend’s got a bit of a complex about her height, so she went to see a shrink. Now she’s even smaller.    Phil Zimmerman

My wife said to me, ‘Do you know how everyone in the world has a doppelgänger? I wonder what mine looks like’.    Tony Jameson

Do you ever see someone who looks so annoying that you just want to punch them in the face. Because, the other day I got punched in the face.    Ed Gamble

13 thoughts on “Gr8at: #JokerFace #OneLiners

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