Gr8at: One-Liner Jokes

I’ve always liked a good one-liner. There’s a great skill in making you laugh with only a few words. I haven’t quoted any jokes for a bit so thought it was about time I put some up. Which one of these jokes from the web makes you laugh chuckle the most? And if you want even more, why not check out my posts on restaurant jokes, one-liners by comedians and Christmas Cracker Jokes.

laughing gif

It’s important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words antidote and anecdote, one of my good friends would still be alive today.

If con is the opposite of pro, then isn’t Congress the opposite of progress?

My wife told me that I twist everything she says to my advantage. I take that as a compliment.

My biggest problem with time travel is: How many days would you pack for?

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It’s hardly ever for them.

So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world.

Why is there so much pressure to spend Independence Day with other people?

Been reading up on the old thesaurus lately because a mind is a terrible thing to garbage.

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25 thoughts on “Gr8at: One-Liner Jokes

      • Definitely his stand up – that’s the first thing I saw him do. Politics and Animals are second to none.
        Then obviously TV. The Office is just…a work of Genius. Pure comedic gold. And I’ve watched Extras waaaaaay too many times. Derek was a hit and a miss for me. And lastly his films. I like them but I think I’m one of the few! He’s got a new stand up coming out I think. ..humanity or something? I have to fact check. I unfortunately suspect he’s going to be Trump bashing which is fine I suppose but a bit tired and over done now. Aaaaaanyway! Short question, waffling answer! 😂

      • Not at all. It’s great he’s had such an impact on you. He’s got some very sharp one liners. The line of “Where’s there’s a Will there’s a relative” and that line about making Iceland useful by making it a car park for Europe means he has social commentary for sure.

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