Line(s) of the Day

One Foot in the Grave

(on phone) I was out the back, working in the garden when he arrived, so I asked him if, for the time being, he’d put it in the downstairs toilet for me, and you know what he’s done?! He’s only planted it in the pan! Yes, actually in the lavatory pan, with compost and everything! I mean, how anyone can be so utterly goofy just boggles the mind! A mistake anyone could have made?! Are you stark- I mean, what am I supposed to do, cock my leg against the trunk like a Yorkshire Terrier?!

Victor Meldrew (Richard Wilson) from the sitcom One Foot in the Grave (1990 – 2000)