Line(s) of the Day #Friends

Friends pic dirty girl

Ross: I’ve seen her at work, but I always figured, ah-huh? But, uh, I made her dinner. We had a great time. And we’re going out again tomorrow.
Rachel: Well maybe she and her friends are just having a contest to see who can bring home the biggest geek.
Ross: Fine by me; hope she wins.

David Schwimmer and Jennifer Aniston in Friends (1993 – 2003), one of the all-time great sitcoms. I’m a huge fan of Joey, Chandler, Monica, Pheobe and of course, Ross and Rachel. You can find another great joke from the New-York set show here and here.

Line(s) of the Day #GavinAndStacey

Nessa

“Don’t get me wrong, but to be honest, at the end of the day, when all’s said and done… do you know what I mean?”

Nessa (Ruth Jones) in the charming British comedy Gavin and Stacey (2008 – 2010). With news that there will be a Christmas special after 9 years, I just had to quote arguably the show’s funniest star.

Line(s) of the Day #BrooklynNineNine

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Captain Raymond Holt: I don’t believe in loopholes.
Jake Perolta: What? Loopholes are the best. Remember that time when Pancake Palace had that all-you-can-eat deal, but they didn’t set a time limit? I ate pancakes for a week for $3.99. All I had to do was sleep there and never shower.
Norm Scully: What? Thanks for the invite, friend!

Andre Braugher, Andy Samberg and Joel McKinnon Miller in the precinct-set sitcom Brooklyn Nine-Nine (2013 -). You can find another example of the show’s humour here.

Line(s) of the Day #Miranda

Miranda and Stevie

Miranda: Ohh, Advent calendar.
Stevie: Ooh, can I?
Miranda: Together.
Stevie: Oh, where’s the chocolate?
Miranda: Where’s the chocolate? Eaten on the first day of purchase! Who can sit in a room day after day when there are little chocolates behind windows and not remove them, eat them and then replace the windows like nothing ever happened?

Miranda Hart and Sarah Hadland in the British feel-good sitcom Miranda (2009 – 2013). You can find more of the sweet-natured comedy here and here.

Line(s) of the Day #ModernFamily

Manny: Help me! Tell me what to say!
Cameron: (into phone) Ok. How about this? You are the prettiest, smartest, funniest girl in the sixth grade. I know you’re only 11 but I can’t stop thinking about you. I’ve loved talking to you online. I think we should become boyfriend and girlfriend.
Cameron: (to customers) Oh no, it’ not what you’re thinking. I’m talking to a litte boy. Oh…

Rico Rodriguez and Eric Stonestreet in the multi award-winning ensemble cast comedy Modern Family (2009 – ). You can find other examples of the show’s humour here and here.

Line(s) of the Day #Frasier

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Frasier: She is nice. Intelligent, accomplished.
Daphne: Well, if you think so much of her why don’t you ask her out?
Frasier: Well, we agreed we wouldn’t pursue things. Frankly, she hasn’t given me any indication since that she’s even had a second thought about me.
Niles: Added to which, if Frasier did pursue her and she rejected him, he could hardly rationalise it by saying she doesn’t know what she’s missing. She would know exactly what she’s missing – she just didn’t miss it!

Kelsey Grammer, Jane Leeves and David Hyde Pierce with another example of the blistering wit in the much-loved Seattle-based sitcom Frasier (1993 – 2004). No other show show has been quoted more in my blog, starting with this one back in the first week.

Line(s) of the Day #OnlyFoolsandHorses

A losing Streak only fools and horses

Boycie: (Through gritted teeth) “Well done, Del. Nicely played. Where did you get those bloody Aces from?”
Del: “Same place you got them Kings. I knew you was cheating, Boycie.”
Boycie: “Oh yeah? How?”
Del: “‘Cos that wasn’t the hand that I dealt you.

John Challis and David Jason in the much-loved British sitcom Only Fools and Horses (1981 – 2003, 2014). Set in East End Peckham, it tells of a poorly educated but hugely entrepreneurial market trader who dreams of getting rich. You can see other examples of the show’s humour here and here, with some memorable quotes on poker here.

Line(s) of the Day #TheGoldbergs

The Goldbergs

Erica: I talked to Lainey about this weekend. It’s a no-go.
Barry: Oh, it’s a scheduling issue? Tell her I’m available Monday through Friday and every other weekend ever plus all other weekdays. 

Hayley Orrantia and Troy Gentile in the hilarious family comedy The Goldbergs (2014 -). My thanks to the super wonderful Tosha for her recommendation. I might not take the dating advice on board though 😉

Line(s) of the Day #TwoandaHalfMen

Two and a half Men

Alan Harper: Charlie, when I moved in here, I said that is was vital that we create a wholesome atmosphere for Jake, and you said, “I understand”.
Charlie Harper: Alan, there’s something you should know about me. When I say “I understand”, it doesn’t mean I agree. It doesn’t mean I understand. It doesn’t even mean I’m listening to you.

Jon Cryer and Charlie Sheen with an example of the dynamic that was pivotal to the success of the sibling comedy Two and a Half Men (2003 – 2015). You can find another example of the wit from the show in my previous post here.