Line(s) of the Day #RandomJoke

I asked my son to pass me the phone book, and he handed me his mobile phone, saying: “Dad, you’re so old!” Anyway, to cut a long story short, spider dead, phone smashed, son distraught.

Just saw this on the internet and it made me laugh so much I had to share it with you all. Have a wonderful weekend everyone.

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Line(s) of the Day #TimVine

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Actually I did once do a parachute jump. Of course they attach you to the instructor, dont they, and you jump out together. I was in this aeroplane they attach me to this bloke and we jumped out. It was really frightening because half way down he said: “So how long have you been an instructor?”

One of the many, many, jokes by comedian Tim Vine. The genial English stand-up has twice won the award for funniest joke at the Edinburgh Fringe and once held the Guinness World Record for most jokes in one hour.