“Ed Truck. Yuck. Ed Truck was the manager before me. Horrible. He hated fun. It was like, “Oh, Ed Truck is walking toward us, so stop having fun. Start pretending to do work.” What a jerk! He’s You know what? I swore to myself that if I ever got to walk around the room as manager, people would laugh when they saw me coming and would applaud as I walked away.”
The inimitable Michael Scott (Steve Carell) in the critically acclaimed The Office (2005 – 2013).
Nicole: Do you secretly want to bang Chandry?
Alan: Thank you. She has a boyfriend.
Nicole: Who you threw out of the window!
Alan: By accident!
Mackenzie Davis and Daniel Radcliffe in the 2013 indie romcom The F Word (What If? in some countries). The film centres on whether you can be friends with someone you wish to date but who is already in a serious relationship.
Everyone will have their favourite character from The Good Place (2016-), a show set in the afterlife and more shocks and twists than you could ever begin to imagine. Mine is the rather dim-witted Jason Mendoza (Manny Jacinto), the failed DJ (or rather “pre-successful”) with an unflinching loyalty to the Jacksonville Jaguars.
Sam Malone: Ya’ see, matching a Corvette with the right owner, Dennis, is kind of like finding a home for an animal…
Dennis: OK, but I’m kind of pressed for time. I gotta’ get to my hair stylist.
Sam Malone: Good.. good. (Checks him out) Oh, very good, very good… Just a few multiple choice questions… Number one, it’s high noon you’re driving in Harvard Square, parking is limited. Do you: A, park in a handicap zone, B, park in a regular spot under a tree, C drive around until a space opens up.
Dennis: C.
Sam Malone: (jumps up) What are you nuts??!! I can’t believe it man! It’s a trick question. You don’t drive this baby at high noon, man! Sun damage, bucko! What the hell is wrong with you?!! What do you want to do, oxidise the paint?!! Get outta’ here, you make me sick!
Proud but broke Corvette owner Sam Malone as played by Ted Danson (with Rob Moran) in the hugely popular and long-running Boston-themed sitcom Cheers (1982 – 1993). You can find other examples of Cheers here and here, more information about Sam’s famous on/off romance with Diane here and about his bachelor status here.
Casey: It’s not the end of the world.
Bianca: Well that’s easy for you to say. I don’t have a date.
Jess: I can fix that. Er… Jack Rebus?
Bianca: Tiny hands.
Jess: Mark Warshaw?
Bianca: Smells like trash.
Jess: Ah! Charlie Piper.
Bianca: Charlie Piper, my cousin Charlie Piper?
Jess : People don’t know that!
Bianca Santos, Mae Whitman and Skyler Samuels in the teen comedy The DUFF (2015). The letters in the title, pivotal to the film’s theme, stand for Designated Ugly Fat Friend. The DUFF does not necesarily have to be ugly or fat, but is the least popular within a group who is exploited by others to get closer to the more popular members.
Jez: “You knew what would happen. As soon as you mentioned chocolate, you knew I’d want to eat it. You know my nature.”
Mark: “Now, just don’t come to me asking for some more when you didn’t have the foresight…”
Jez: “Can I have a bit more?”
Robert Webb and David Mitchell in the long-running British sitcom Peep Show (2003 – ).
One of the three comedies to have won acting Emmys for all of its main cast, Will and Grace had the best in talent on screen, as well as behind it. And one of those stars was the hilarious Sean Hayes as Jack McFarland. Here are my eight of his best lines.
I think I got promoted because of my motivational skills. People are always saying they have to work harder when I’m around.
Homer Simpson (Dan Castellaneta) in The Simpsons (1989 – )
Alex Raphael 