Casey: It’s not the end of the world. Bianca: Well that’s easy for you to say. I don’t have a date. Jess: I can fix that. Er… Jack Rebus? Bianca: Tiny hands. Jess: Mark Warshaw? Bianca: Smells like trash. Jess: Ah! Charlie Piper. Bianca: Charlie Piper, my cousin Charlie Piper? Jess : People don’t know that!
Bianca Santos, Mae Whitman and Skyler Samuels in the teen comedy The DUFF (2015). The letters in the title, pivotal to the film’s theme, stand for Designated Ugly Fat Friend. The DUFF does not necesarily have to be ugly or fat, but is the least popular within a group who is exploited by others to get closer to the more popular members.
“This guy’s walking down the street when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep he can’t get out.” A doctor passes by and the guy shouts up, ‘Hey you. Can you help me out?’ The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on. “Then a priest comes along and the guy shouts up, ‘Father, I’m down in this hole can you help me out?’ The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on.” Then a friend walks by, ‘Hey, Joe, it’s me can you help me out?’ And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, ‘Are you stupid? Now we’re both down here.’ The friend says, ‘Yeah, but I’ve been down here before and I know the way out.'”
Leo McGarry (John Spencer) in the highly-acclaimed political drama The West Wing (1999 – 2006). The quote is taken from Noël, an episode that deals with one of the character’s problems with PTSD. You can find another example of the show’s wonderful dialogue here.