Line(s) of the Day #Friends

Friends pic dirty girl

Ross: I’ve seen her at work, but I always figured, ah-huh? But, uh, I made her dinner. We had a great time. And we’re going out again tomorrow.
Rachel: Well maybe she and her friends are just having a contest to see who can bring home the biggest geek.
Ross: Fine by me; hope she wins.

David Schwimmer and Jennifer Aniston in Friends (1993 – 2003), one of the all-time great sitcoms. I’m a huge fan of Joey, Chandler, Monica, Pheobe and of course, Ross and Rachel. You can find another great joke from the New-York set show here and here.

Line(s) of the Day #IllBeThereForYou

Rembrandts song

So no one told you life was gonna be this way
Your job’s a joke, you’re broke
Your love life’s D.O.A
It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear
When it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month
Or even your year, but

I’ll be there for you
(When the rain starts to pour)
I’ll be there for you
(Like I’ve been there before)
I’ll be there for you
(‘Cause you’re there for me too)

The opening lines and chorus from I’ll be There For You by The Rembrandts, from the American duo’s third studio album LP (1995). The song is far better known for being the theme tune to sitcom phenomenon Friends,  a show I’ve been rewatching from the start. You can find two of the many jokes here and here.

Reviews and other Features: Sitcoms quiz

As you all will have noticed I really do love to laugh. It really is such a great feeling. Below are 15 of the shows I watched that continually had me in stitches. How many of the 15 sitcoms can you work out? Is there one that make you laugh more than the others? As always, feel free to share your thoughts.

TV show 1 1.

TV show 2 2.

TV show 3 3.

TV show 4 4.

TV show 5 5.

 

TV show 6 6.

TV show 7 7.

TV show 8 8.

TV show 9 9.

TV show 10 10.

TV show 11 11.

TV show 12 12.

TV show 13 13.

TV show 14 14.

TV show 15 15.

 

Answers

_______________________

1. Father Ted

2. The Golden Girls

3. Blackadder

4. Yes, Minister

5. Friends

6. Frasier

7. The Inbetweeners

8. Seinfeld

9. The Larry Sanders Show

10. Only Fools and Horses

11. Everybody Loves Ramond

12. Flight of the Conchords

13. Fawlty Towers

14. Scrubs

15. Arrested Development

 

Gr8at – Joey Tribbiani

Joey Tribbiani

I’ve already mentioned him as a womaniser but Joey Tribbaini really does deserve his own piece. Read below for a Gr8at of his funniest lines.

Chandler: Condoms?
Joey: We don’t know how long we’re gonna be stuck here. We might have to repopulate the world.
Chandler: And condoms are the way to do that?

Joey: Hey Ross. If homo sapiens were in fact “homo” sapiens, could that be why they’re extinct?
Ross: Joey, homo sapiens are people.
Joey: Hey! I’m not judging here.

Chandler: Great show. Good work, Joey.
Joey: You liked it?
Chandler: Liked it? I loved it.
Joey: What did you like best about it?
Chandler: I liked… everything the whole show.
Joey: What about the specifics?
Chandler: Specifics? Specifics were the best part.
Joey: What about the scene with the kangaroo?
Chandler: I… I was surprised to see a kangaroo in a World War I epic.
Joey: You fell asleep. There was no kangaroo. They didn’t take any of my suggestions.

Rachel: I mean, is that woman capable of talking about anything else but sex?
Joey: Yeah sure. Well, you know earlier she was talking about geography.
Monica: Joey, she was listing the countries she’s done it in.
Joey: Well, I think we all learned something.

Ross: You know what the scariest part is? What if there’s only one woman for everybody, you know? I mean, what if you get one woman, and that’s it? Unfortunately, in my case, it was only one woman for her.
Joey: What are you talking about? One woman? That’s like saying there’s only one flavour of ice cream for you. Let me tell you something, Ross. There’s lots of flavours out there. There’s Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bing. Cherry Vanilla. You could get them with jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream. This is the best thing that ever happened to you. You got married, you were, what, eight? Welcome back to the world. Grab a spoon.
Ross: I honestly don’t know if I’m hungry or horny.
Chandler: Stay out of my freezer.

Joey: Think about it… You’re 18, she’s 44. When you’re 36, she’s gonna be 88.
Frank Buffay Jr.: You think I don’t know that?

Chandler: Hey Joey, where do Dutch people come from?
Joey: Uh… well the Pennsylvania Dutch come from Pennsylvania.
Chandler: and the other Dutch come from somewhere near the Netherlands right?
Joey: Nice try, see the Netherlands is this make believe place where Peter Pan and Tinkerbell come from.

Jessica Lockhart: [while Joey is reading her character’s death in the script] How does it happen?
Joey: You get thrown from a horse into an electric fence.
Jessica Lockhart: Jessica hates horses!
Joey: After this I’m guessing she won’t be too wild about electricity either.

Line(s) of the Day #Friends

Pheobe and David

Pheobe: (Gasps) Oh my God! David!.
David: Hi! I-i-is this a bad time?.
Pheobe: (excited) No! It’s a great time, come in…! WOW, hi… Oh my gosh! What are you doing here? Are you back from Minsk?
David: Well, just for a couple of days, uhm… I’m here to explain to the people who gave us our grant, why it’s a positive thing that we spent all their money and uhm… accomplished uhm… nothing.
Pheobe: Who cares, it got you here.
David: Well, it got me to New York anyway, and then I got on a cab at the airport, and the guy said where to? and I just… gave him your address I… I… I didn’t even think about it
Pheobe: Wow. Where is your luggage? .
David: (thinks for a while) Damn it!

Hank Azaria and Lisa Kudrow from the sitcom Friends (1994 – 2004)

Gr8at – Womanisers

Britney may have remained immune to a bad boy when she sang Womanizer but then again, she never met any of these modern day Don Juan’s. A look at eight artists of seduction, capable of charming any bird out of a tree before making them fly off the morning after…

CHARLIE HARPER – TWO AND A HALF MEN

Two and a Half Men

Charlie Sheen’s personal life is so scandalous it’s hard to know where his on screen persona ends and his personal life begins, making him a perfect choice for a wealthy playboy with no kids and a disposable attitude to women. For some, with his one night stand lifestyle, regular gambling, continuous drinking, and expensive sports cars, Harper lived the bachelor dream. As he himself said, “If I can’t eat it, bang it or bet on it, it’s not in my phone”. An endless carousel of bimbos would quickly succumb, falling for a mixture of his Hollywood looks, luxurious beach house, alcohol and idle promises of commitment. When he wanted things to move even faster, Harper was openly content to pay hookers. Proud of his lifestyle, the Malibu lothario always found it amusing that his twice divorced brother Alan rarely got any female attention and never even got close to matching his sexual prowess. The character was saved from being unlikeable by taking in rent-free his annoying cheapskate brother, his caring for his nephew Jake, several genuine attempts at serious relationships and a poor influence from his self-absorbed mother.

Sam Malone – Cheers

Sam Malone

The loveable rogue himself. A pitcher for the Boston Red Sox before alcoholism ravaged his career, Sam Malone seems to be born with womanising in his veins. A teetotal bar owner (and then just a barman when he lost all his money buying a boat which soon sank), Malone has few interests other than getting into a girl’s pants. Particularly successful with airline stewardesses in town for a short time, Malone is legendary in the Cheers bar for his exploits, with his prolific strike rate livening up the otherwise mundane lives of the regulars. So proud is he of his ladies man talents, and so confident in himself, that the former baseball star is happy to take on the toughest challenges of chatting up and sleeping with any attractive female who walks into the bar. Never hooking up with anyone married or emotionally vulnerable, Malone is still drawn to a challenge, with long pursuits of Diane Chambers and then his boss, Rebecca Howe. Though frustrated at long intervals with both, he refuses to quit, consoling himself about Diane: “She better be damn good in bed”. He may be far too obsessed with his hair (getting it insured!), used far too much Cologne and been a bit of a showman, but it was near impossible not to like him.

Barney Stinson – How I Met Your Mother

Barney Stinson

Michael Jackson wasn’t singing about Barney Stinson with his 1987 classic, but in the world of dating conmen, the How I Met Your Mother star is most definitely a Smooth Criminal. With his “Suit up” appearance and completely immoral dating techniques, Stinson is the ultimate sweet-talking salesman who will use any line to get a woman into bed. This temporarily comes back to haunt him in the legendary episode ‘The Bracket’, when Stinson has to work out which of the women he has had a one night stand with had the most reason to try to sabotage him. Before he was tamed in later series of the show, Barney was the ultimate lothario, even once managing the “Perfect Week” of sleeping with seven different women on consecutive nights. With his “Legendary” and “True story” anecdotes, his creation of the “Hot/Crazy” scale and constantly updated “Rule Number One”, he certainly has the gift of the gab. Even more remarkable then that Stinson started late to the game, being a syrupy lovestruck puppy in his early twenties until his girl dumped him for a successful guy in a suit.

Joey Tribbiani – Friends

Joey Tribiani

Not just any ladies man gets their own catchphrase, let alone one of just three words. But then “how you doin’?” seemed to almost sum up Joey Tribianni: unthreatening, irresistible and almost far too fun to turn down. The struggling actor may have trouble counting, reading and let’s be honest, acting, but Tribbiani had an effortless charm that seemed to work on any female. Even long time friends Rachel, Monica and Pheobe are temporarily smitten when he turns his attention on them. Though comfortable in any environment, he is particularly successful hitting on the interns at the Days of Our Lives studio where he works. Loyal, caring and endearingly honest, Tribbiani is an uncomplicated New Yorker who has two ultimate passions: sex and food. When put by Chandler if he would prefer the Xerox girl naked (represented by his right hand) or a tub of jam (represented by his other hand), Tribbiani replies with a knowing smile: “Put your hands together”. Even when seeing the others in the group settle down, the idea of married life or even a settled girlfriend never appealed. This Italian stallion was always set to roam free, even when not going ‘Commando’.

Don Draper – Mad Men

Don Draper

Slick, debonair, sophisticated, aloof, cynical, mysterious and the ultimate heartbreaker, there are seemingly an infinite number of ways to describe Sterling Cooper’s finest. The ad executive extraordinaire has a lethal combination of looks, wealth, style, a silent intensity and a detached air that make any female resistance futile. Quite simply, Draper has no need for lies, games or any form of manipulation. Though hiding a troubled past, Draper is the man most guys dream of being. Married to the beautiful Betty, but always being tempted through the attractive women he meets through work, Draper is able to pick and choose only the ones that capture his attention the most. So much so, that Draper can afford to go beyond looks, going for ladies who have an aura that meet his high standards. Rather than just connecting with them sexually, the ambitious New Yorker is able to get inside their head, making them fall for his spell and leaving them destroyed when walking away. For a man who can pretty much convince you to buy anything, he really doesn’t leave much behind.

Hank Moody – Californication

CALIFORNICATION (Season 4)

Not all rock stars end up on stage. With his liberal attitude to sex, drug use, swearing, authority and parental responsibility, Hank Moody is the New Yorker turned Californian who gets the groupies without even needing a band. He gets offered sex even as he is getting a vasectomy! A jaded and cynical author who writes with the colourful passion of Bukowski or Palahnuik, Moody could never work in a job that needed any kind of routine or responsibility. Though in an on again off again relationship with long-term girlfriend Karen with whom he has a daughter Becca, Moody seems to stumble into temptation without breaking sweat, usually with dramatic or comical results. His fearless attitude to any likely consequences to his casual romantic encounters adds to his laconic charm, but it hides a man struggling professionally and emotionally to deal with the world he lives in.

Chuck Bass – Gossip Girl

Chuck Bass

The Upper East Side’s Prince of Darkness, Chuck Bass is the bad boy that stands out even in a society where scandal, deceit and debauchery are a pre-requisite. Indeed, the man described as ‘the big bad wolf’ even has a private investigator on speed dial. The descendant of financial royalty, Bass’ wild antics actually help his father’s hotel gain the notoriety that drives business. Being a tortured soul is no publicity stunt though. Bass has a strained relationship with his father, his mother died giving birth to him, he sees nothing wrong with hiring multiple prostitutes at any one time and his only friend is the easy-going Nate. That is without mentioning the intense on-off relationship with Blair, who understands him better than anyone but who he feels would be happier without him. He may frequently lose control when drunk, use all kind of underhand tactics to get what he wants and be a discerning snob, but for all his many faults, he will go way out of his way to help those he cares about. He does have a heart of gold buried deep under there somewhere.

Dennis Reynolds – It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Dennis Reynolds

It isn’t just any ladies man who uses their first name as an acrostic system to seduce a woman, but then Dennis Reynolds is one of your more narcissistic types. Not beneath pretending to be disabled, manipulating a hot girl at her grandfather’s funeral or hitting on women at an abortion rally (both pro-choice and pro-life), Reynolds is a ruthless dating predator. His strength is in his complete lack of morals, being completely willing to sell anyone out for a chance of sex, especially his two best friends, Mac and Charlie, and his twin sister Dee. Vain to the point of taking his shirt off for the most tenuous of reasons, Reynolds has long convinced himself he is good looking though curiously that masks a strong insecurity of his looks when a particular feature is criticised. Arguably his lowest point was sleeping with Charlie’s dream girl before discarding her the morning after. Unsurprisingly regret was minimal and he was perfectly happy to lead her on again when it suited him. But then that would be forgetting he videotapes his bedroom exploits without asking their permission. And brags to his friends about it. And rates their performance too…

Gr8 – Bromances

The term may be recent, but TV has caught up fast with the closest of male friendships. Do you have a favourite? Here are mine.

Bert and Ernie – Sesame Street

Bert and Ernie

It isn’t just any male friendship that has a company press statement denying both characters are gay and that they are in fact, “just good friends”.  But then not just any bromance leads to regular cultural references in shows like Friends, Family Guy and Saturday Night Live. Since their introduction to Sesame Street in 1969, this muppet pair have been an inseparable double act, with Bernie the long-suffering straight man and Ernie the wacky funnyman. With many scenes set in their shared bedroom (and with Ernie even sharing Bert’s bed when he feels scared), and their bath habits well known to each other, the friendship is incredibly close. Ernie’s short concentration span, madcap theories and fondness for his “rubber duckie” provide a lot of the duo’s humour, as does the regular exasperation of the long suffering Bert. But for all the frustration, the unexciting Bert, with his love of pigeons and paperclips, is really fond of his maverick pal, and couldn’t manage without him. Even if he would get far more sleep.

JD and Turk – Scrubs

JD and Turk

In many ways, the definitive bromance. Going above and beyond the Richter Scale for traditional boundaries of male friendship, the medical duo share more than just the Sacred Heart Hospital workplace.  Sharing feelings, pet names and countless in-jokes, their mutual love for each other is a longstanding joke to everyone else. This is summed up when two female interns do a mocking skit of their behaviour and end it by passionately kissing. Not to mention when Carla and Turk get back from their honeymoon. Turk and JD ecstatically run into each other’s arms and she wistfully says of her husband: “Maybe one day he will love me like that”. Unable to stay apart for any significant length of time, the friendship survives all possible challenges. JD kissing Carla, Turk’s competitive nature and his settling down with Carla, as well as occasional professional differences of opinion, only seem to strengthen the friendship. JD and his “brown bear” are high school sweethearts that have no interest in graduating.

Carter and Stuart – Spin City

Carter and Stuart

Before creating Scrubs, sitcom guru Bill Lawrence helped to come up with a different angle of the close buddy friendship. Spin City told of the adventures of the fictional PR team behind a bumbling New York Mayor. Though Michael J Fox was the show’s star and lead character, the most hilarious moments tended to come from scenes between Chief of Staff Stuart and Head of Minority Affairs Carter.  With Carter an erudite, stylish and charming black homosexual, and Stuart a sleazy womaniser who shoots from the proverbial hip, the dynamic spark jumped off the screen. As well as generating all kinds of laughs, the relationship even gained praise for its positive portrayal of a character being both black and confident of his sexuality, and how two such seemingly different characters in Carter and Stuart could become such genuinely close friends. Getting jealous and over protective of each other’s dating choices, and even sounding like an old married couple with all their bickering, they really are sitcom’s “Odd Couple”.

Joey and Chandler – Friends

Joey and Chandler

Amidst Jennifer Anniston’s haircuts, the Ross and Rachel storyline, Monica’s dreams of culinary recognition and Pheobe’s ever-peculiar familiar history, there was always Joey and Chandler’s friendship. Meeting after Joey answered Chandler’s advert looking for a flatmate, the pair soon embraced each other and became the closest of friends. Chandler may have been smarter, funnier and had the well-paid job that no one could quite name, but it was Joey who really brought the fun to the party. He may know how to bring a girl back to his flat, win a game of foosball (table football) and make the perfect sandwich, but it was his fierce loyalty and good humour through his acting struggles that made him so endearing. The fact that Joey knew exactly what Chandler looked like in the shower, was happy to wear his flatmate’s clothes and laugh at Chandler’s attempts at dating, makes the friendship all the sweeter.

Mark and Jeremy – Peep Show

Mark and Jeremy

What do you get if you throw an uptight, dull, history lover and a hedonistic DJ who is usually unemployed and flat broke? The “El Dude Brothers” of course! As much as Croydon’s favourite misfits are secretly relieved not to have the lifestyle of the other, they’d be lost without the reassurance their best friend provides. What makes it so much of it funny is the desperate lengths they will go to in order to hide all their insecurities from everyone else, but are happy to tell each other absolutely anything, no matter how bad it sounds. The fact that Jeremy actually slept with Mark’s original dream girl and eventual wife Sophie shows that though the friendship is rock solid, they do cross the line sometimes. But the madness is probably best summed up when both characters are hoping that their best friend was in fact the one that got Sophie pregnant, so as to avoid taking any parental responsibility. And with the eighth series out later this year, long may that madness continue.

Bret and Jermaine – Flight of the Conchords

Bret and Jermaine

Bret and Jermaine may only have been in 22 episodes, but the New Zealand digi-folk duo has more than made an imprint on the bromance scene. After all, there can’t be many friendships where the two friends spend quite so much time together. Flat broke and miles away from home in New York, the musical pair are inseparable. It’s just as well, as the two would be even worse off alone, or worse still, with their incompetent manager Murray, or obsessive fan Mel. As with all bromances, outside romantic influences do threaten to get in the way. The pair are initially delighted when they are offered the chance of a threesome with two hot girls, but dismayed when they realise the threesome involves the two of them and only one of the girls. To paraphrase the Bard himself, the course of true bromance never did run smooth.

Dennis, Mac and Charlie – It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Denis, Mac and Charlie

With episode titles like “Mac Bangs Dennis’ Mom” and “Frank Sets Sweet Dee on Fire”, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is far from your traditional comedy. With seemingly no topic matter being off-limits, its irreverent and playful tone on controversial issues such as serial killers, abortion, capital punishment, paedophilia and terrorism, makes the show Seinfeld’s natural heir. So, no surprise then, that the conventional bromance has a twist, with three buddies instead of the regular two. Co-workers as well as friends, Dennis, Mac and Charlie blur all the rules of friendship as nothing can break it, not even Dennis sleeping with Charlie’s dreaming girl, or Charlie pretending to have cancer to get sympathy sex. No opinion is off limits, and however badly they sell each other out for money or a hot girl, they are still there as each other’s wingman. There’s no need to share sex secrets, Mac and Charlie are quite happy looking at the tapes Dennis secretly uses of his encounters. Not to mention the favourite angle he uses to position the camera and his scoring system out of three stars.

Troy and Abed – Community

Troy and Abed

Now filming its fifth season, cult comedy Community has its own offering to the bromance arena, and a reminder of just what it can achieve. The nerdy and detached Abed is quite content to watch the action from the sidelines, until his friendship with Troy brings him more into the action. Indeed, the transformation of Troy from being a jock to becoming a geek could make a Hollywood storyline. The impromptu musical performances which usually end each episode are homage to their friendship, and just how comfortable they feel in each other’s company. So much so that during Halloween, and in costumes, Abed is even happy to tell Troy how good looking he is. Troy’s response: “I knew it!” Naïve Annie even gives up her long-held crush on Troy as she realises she could never compete with his affections for Abed. Someone really should tell Abed that’s not how a wingman is supposed to work!