Line(s) of the Day #OnlyFoolsandHorses

Del Boy and Rodney

Del Boy: ‘Look after Rodney for me Del  Boy’ she said, ‘Share everything you’ve got with him, try to make him feel normal…’ And that’s what I have done. Half of everything I’ve got…I mean, fair enough, I ain’t got nothing, but half of it’s yours!
Rodney: You’d give me half of everything! You’d nick the hole out of me last polo if I didn’t keep my mouth shut.
Del Boy: That hurts Rodney…That hurts. If I had any kind of wealth I’d give half of it to you like a shot.
Rodney: Yeah? Say you had two Rolls Royces?
Del Boy: Well I’d give one to you wouldn’t I.
Rodney: You’d give me one of your Rolls Royces?
Del Boy: Yeah, course I would. If it was weather like this, I’d give you the one with the sun-shine roof.
Rodney: If you had two million pounds what would you do?
Del Boy: I’d give you a million wouldn’t I.
Rodney: Really?
Del Boy: In cash.
Rodney: What would you do if you had two of them deep sea diver’s watches?
Del Boy: Now you know I’ve got two of them deep sea diver’s watches…Don’t take bloody liberties with me Rodney!

David Jason and Nicholas Lyndhurst in the long-running British sitcom Only Fools and Horses (1981- 2003)