Line(s) of the Day #Miranda

Penny: So, tonight at…
Miranda: No, I can’t tonight, I’ve got plans. An art class. I do things!
Penny: Miranda, the last time you went out after 9 o’clock was when you forgot to put the bin’s out!

Patricia Hodge and Miranda Hart in the British sitcom Miranda (2009 – 2015). Created, written and starring Hart in the lead role, Miranda tells of a socially awkward woman’s relationship with her middle class mother, her attempts to win over a handsome chef and running her joke shop business with her best friend.

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Line(s) of the Day #Outnumbered

Brethrens, we are gathered here in the bosom of Jesus to say goodbye to this, to this mouse, killed before its time. We have given it cheese and bread for its journey to heaven, or at least if it goes to hell, it’ll have cheese on toast. Next up is the Pope. Dust to dust, for richer or for poorer, in sickness or in health, may the force be with you, because you’re worth it, amen and out.

Karen (Ramona Marquez) from the British comedy ‘Outnumbered’ (2007 – 2014).

Line(s) of the Day

(on phone) I was out the back, working in the garden when he arrived, so I asked him if, for the time being, he’d put it in the downstairs toilet for me, and you know what he’s done?! He’s only planted it in the pan! Yes, actually in the lavatory pan, with compost and everything! I mean, how anyone can be so utterly goofy just boggles the mind! A mistake anyone could have made?! Are you stark- I mean, what am I supposed to do, cock my leg against the trunk like a Yorkshire Terrier?!

Victor Meldrew (Richard Wilson) from the sitcom One Foot in the Grave (1990 – 2000)

Line(s) of the Day #OnlyFoolsAndHorses

Denzil: It’s closed!
Trigger: Well, it’s a bit late, innit?.
Del Boy: What d’you mean ‘a bit late?’ You said it was open twenty-four hours a day!
Trigger: Yeah, but not at night!.

Paul Barber, Roger Lloyd-Pack and David Jason in the sitcom ‘Only Fools and Horses (1981 – 2003)