Shaun: [to muffin] Hello, you. [Shaun bites into the muffin while it’s still in Darren’s hand] Andy Millman: Why’s he eating like that? Darren Lamb: Yeah, why are you eating it like that? Shaun: Me hands, been cleaning out the toilets, got no gloves. Andy Millman: You… you shook my hand when you came in. Shaun: Well that’s politeness innit?
Shaun Richardson, Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant in the acclaimed Extras (2005 – 2007). Telling the story of a struggling actor, the British sitcom was the follow up show by Gervais and Merchant to the phenomenally influential The Office (2001 – 2003).
Boycie: (Through gritted teeth) “Well done, Del. Nicely played. Where did you get those bloody Aces from?” Del: “Same place you got them Kings. I knew you was cheating, Boycie.” Boycie: “Oh yeah? How?” Del: “‘Cos that wasn’t the hand that I dealt you.”
John Challis and David Jason in the much-loved British sitcom Only Fools and Horses (1981 – 2003, 2014). Set in East End Peckham, it tells of a poorly educated but hugely entrepreneurial market trader who dreams of getting rich. You can see other examples of the show’s humour here and here, with some memorable quotes on poker here.
Though there was only 24 episodes and the show finished in 1989, Blackadder has never been forgotten and continues to be one of Britain’s most loved sitcoms. As well as its unique take on four different periods within British history, it also featured one of comedy’s most famous anti-heroes, the acerbic Edmund Blackadder. The eight quotes below give a strong insight into his turn of phrase, and you’ll find a bonus example of his scathing wit here.
Del Boy: ‘Look after Rodney for me Del Boy’ she said, ‘Share everything you’ve got with him, try to make him feel normal…’ And that’s what I have done. Half of everything I’ve got…I mean, fair enough, I ain’t got nothing, but half of it’s yours! Rodney: You’d give me half of everything! You’d nick the hole out of me last polo if I didn’t keep my mouth shut. Del Boy: That hurts Rodney…That hurts. If I had any kind of wealth I’d give half of it to you like a shot. Rodney: Yeah? Say you had two Rolls Royces? Del Boy: Well I’d give one to you wouldn’t I. Rodney: You’d give me one of your Rolls Royces? Del Boy: Yeah, course I would. If it was weather like this, I’d give you the one with the sun-shine roof. Rodney: If you had two million pounds what would you do? Del Boy: I’d give you a million wouldn’t I. Rodney: Really? Del Boy: In cash. Rodney: What would you do if you had two of them deep sea diver’s watches? Del Boy: Now you know I’ve got two of them deep sea diver’s watches…Don’t take bloody liberties with me Rodney!
David Jason and Nicholas Lyndhurst in the long-running British sitcom Only Fools and Horses (1981- 2003)