Actually I did once do a parachute jump. Of course they attach you to the instructor, dont they, and you jump out together. I was in this aeroplane they attach me to this bloke and we jumped out. It was really frightening because half way down he said: “So how long have you been an instructor?”
One of the many, many, jokes by comedian Tim Vine. The genial English stand-up has twice won the award for funniest joke at the Edinburgh Fringe and once held the Guinness World Record for most jokes in one hour.
Alex Raphael 
He’s fantastic to watch do a live performance. The memory skill he has is incredible – to remember that many jokes! Brilliantly funny man. 😀
For sure. I could easily do a Gr8at for him. Any favourites? I was tempted to put this one.
I rang up British Telecom and said: ‘I want to report a nuisance caller.’ He said: ‘Not you again.’
There’s so many to choose!
This bloke said to me: ‘I’m going to attack you with the neck of a guitar.’
I said: ‘Is that a fret?’
Yep! This one still cracks me up.
I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again
Thanks for the smile!
I knew you would 🙂
Chute – very funny…
I could easily have chosen a dozen other ones. See some above in the comments section. But this one just cracks me up so much. Every time I see a parachute it reminds me of this.
He’s a very funny guy.
He was great in Not Going Out as well. Got such a gift for timing. Never fails to make you laugh.
He’s sure got the comic timing down.
As funny as Lee Mack is, the show was never the same once Vine had left. Exhcnahges like this!
Tim: “You know what they say. No man is an island.”
Lee: “What about the Isle of Man?”
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