Gr8at: Memorably stupid football quotes

The latest TV rights for the Premier being sold for a record £5.136bn, a cool 71% above last time, show that the Premier League is bigger than ever. Filled with elite players, hugely competitive games and a fast-paced, entertaining style, it has delighted since its transformation from the First Division in 1992. It’s frenetic pace has also meant some hilarious gaffes when it comes to pundit and post-match analysis. Do you have a favourite from the eight below?

Funny football moment

“I don’t want Rooney to leave these shores but if he does, I think he’ll go abroad.”
Ian Wright

“Sometimes you want Obertan to open his legs and do something a bit exciting.”
Alan Pardew

“Jordan Henderson is a player who likes to do his business in the middle of the park.”
Jason McAteer

“I would not be bothered if we lost every game, as long as we won the league.”
Mark Viduka

“I was watching the Blackburn game on TV on Sunday when it flashed on the screen that George (Ndah) had scored in the first minute at Birmingham. My first reaction was to ring him up. Then I remembered he was out there playing.”
Ade Akinbiyi

“If you closed your eyes, you couldn’t tell the difference between the two sides.”
Phil Brown

“Fernando Torres needs to be loved on a regular basis.”
Mark Lawrenson

“I’ve just watched the replay and there is absolutely no doubt: it’s inconclusive.”
Garth Crooks


36 thoughts on “Gr8at: Memorably stupid football quotes

  1. Great stuff! Do you remember (or have you heard) the classic from the 1970’s – ‘if it had gone in, it would have been a goal’. I can’t remember who said it (it was on MOTD) but do recall hearing it!

  2. Hahah! Hilarious read here Alex. I don’t know if I can choose between #s 2, 4, 6 and 8. They are all incredibly dumb but funny, esp when taken out of context. Well, thinking more on that. . .they wouldn’t be much better even IN context. 😉 Wish I heard them when they actually were said.

  3. Pingback: Gr8at: Memorably Stupid | Alex Raphael

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