Gr8at: Steven Wright

Ever since I saw Steven Wright on The Larry Sanders Show, I’ve been a huge fan of his. I’ve even quoted him twice before, with his thoughts on a cafe breakfast and the Indy 500. But that wasn’t enough. So here are eight of his finest quotes. Do you have a favourite?

Steven Wright

Half the people you know are below average.

You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

My mechanic told me, “I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”

If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

if you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

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35 thoughts on “Gr8at: Steven Wright

  1. Steven Wright is definitely an original. I did a post some time ago on the wisdom of Steven Wright on Bookshelf. Here are some of my favorites:
    I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.
    The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, ‘Where the hell is my roof?
    I went to a restaurant that “serves breakfast at any time” so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
    Sponges grow in the ocean… I wonder how much deeper they’d be if that didn’t happen.

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