Gr8at: Frasier and Niles Crane

Frasier and Niles

My love of the multi-award winning sitcom Frasier won’t be a surprise to anyone. As well as mentioning it countless times, it was even one of my earliest posts a year ago. Along with Seinfeld, I really do think it is the greatest comedy ever. One of the key reasons was the amazing sibling relationship between Frasier and Niles. Here are eight of their funniest examples.

Frasier: Well, we agreed we wouldn’t pursue things. And, frankly, she hasn’t given me any indication since that she’s even had a second thought about me.
Niles: Added to which, if Frasier did pursue her and she rejected him, he could hardly rationalize it by saying, “She doesn’t know what she’s missing.” She would know exactly what she’s missing. She just didn’t miss it.

Frasier: There’s no denying it, we are vindictive and competitive.
Niles: Petty. Mistrustful.
Frasier: And as so often in these cases, it took someone outside our situation to point it out to us.
Niles: Well, Dad always said it, but he has no credentials.

Frasier: I’m having a young lady over on Friday night. I was hoping that maybe you could take Dad out for me.
Niles: Oh, I wish you’d said Saturday.
Frasier: Why? You have plans Friday?
Niles: No, I have plans Saturday.

Frasier: You know, Dad, I did have friends in college and back in Boston. It’s only since I moved back to Seattle that I’ve started falling back on Niles.
Niles: Ooooh – “falling back on Niles.”
Frasier: Oh, Niles, you know what I mean. Settling for what’s comfortable and familiar. My God, you and I can go out together and I know what you’re thinking before you even say it.
Niles: Well, then, I’m sorry you had to hear that, Frasier.

Niles: You wanted to get closer to dad.
Frasier: I still do. There isn’t anything I’d like more, but he makes it impossible. I can’t read my book, I can’t have my coffee, I can’t have any peace in my own home.
Niles: So what you’re saying is, you want to be closer to dad, but you
don’t actually want him around.

Niles: I don’t care, I’m going after her. I’m not without resources. My Tae Kwon Do instructor tells me I’m just two moves away from becoming quite threatening!

Frasier: I’m Dr. Frasier Crane, and this is my brother, Dr. Niles Crane, the eminent psychiatrist.
Niles: My brother is too kind. He was already eminent when my eminence was merely imminent.

Frasier: I can’t believe we just turned on each other like that.
Niles: It was embarrassing. My only excuse is that all my life I have dreamed about belonging to an exclusive club like the Empire. Even as a child, when I formed clubs with my teddy bears, there were always two or three who didn’t make the cut.


19 thoughts on “Gr8at: Frasier and Niles Crane

  1. Hi Alex . Yes I agree they are hilarious, but do you keep a file on these guys? own the scripts? or did you take it down in shorthand when it was on? or remember it word for word ……. I need to know! (Meticulous work)

    • It’s really my joint favourite show so I do tend to know the jokes I’m going to put in. To get the exact wording I tend to find out the name of the episode and look at the transcript.

    • This one is for you

      (Frasier is trying to date two women)

      Frasier: Oh, for God’s sakes… oh, I’m just not up to this sort of thing – what made me think I could juggle?
      Martin: I sure as hell don’t know – you couldn’t catch a balloon ’til you were ten.

  2. this is by far, my favorite comedy show ever. I always find myself watching old episodes and cracking up all over again at the hilarity of the two Younger Cranes

    Thanks for posting these and letting me once again reminisce Alex!

    whats your other co-favorite?

  3. Pingback: Line(s) of the Day #Frasier | Alex Raphael

  4. Daphne: [in time with the chopping] Doomp-da, doomp-da, doomp-da,
    Niles: Hear and soul, I fell in love with you…
    Heart and soul, the way a fool would do…
    Both: Madly! Because you held me tight
    And stole a kiss in the night.
    Frasier: Oh, please!
    Niles: What?
    Frasier: Even your everyday memories are idealized. How long until
    the cartoon blue bird lands on her shoulder?

    May be not the funniest scene in the show but it’s my favorite.

  5. Pingback: Line(s) of the Day #Frasier | Alex Raphael

    • No other set of characters even come close to the things they talk about. I remember being shocked a comedy could be so successful without having an idiot. Father Ted, Only Fools and Horses and Blackadder etc. But then shows like Frasier came along and reminded me that there don’t need to be rules with comedy. Funny is funny.

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