A supremely gifted master of the one-liner, the much loved comedian Bob Monkhouse may know longer be around, but his talent will always resonate.
They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian … They’re not laughing now.
I can still enjoy sex at 74 – I live at 75, so it’s no distance.
I want to die like my father, peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers.
Silence is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted.
I tend to sleep in the nude. Which isn’t a bad thing except for maybe on those long flights.
Marriage is an investment which pays dividends if you pay interest.
My wife said: “Can my mother come down for the weekend?” So I said “Why?” and she said “Well, she’s been up on the roof two weeks already.
Where do the homeless have 90% of their accidents?